05 January 2007

Once a year

Today is the one day that I feel slightly justified in feeling a little sorry for myself.

I still have to cook, clean, wash and fold clothes, get up before anyone else and make sack lunches, take the dog out, and referee the fights.

The only way I'll get a break is if I work super hard in advance, order take-out for dinner, and keep the kids from taking out a single toy.

It's my birthday. This year is a big one. Except for the fact that I am tired all the time, I'm 40 pounds heavier, and I have gray hairs, I still feel the same as I did when I turned 18, despite the fact that I'm thirty. Thirty, people.

My older sister turned 30 last year and she was so glad, because she was getting tired of people telling her that she was too young to have 3 kids. Ummm, I have 4 and I've had 4 since I was 28 and I don't recall anyone telling me I'm too young. She lives in a big city, rather than in a place like Idaho where people actually have family values and don't believe that 2 kids is too many.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about being thirty. I don't care so much about the number though. What ticks me off and makes me feel sorry for myself is that I'd like the day to be different for once. Sure, my kids are 8, 6, 3, and 1, so it's kind of hard for them to understand and actually remember to be nice to me for an hour, let alone a whole day. I'd like for them to remember to obey me the first time I ask them to do something. I'd like to not pick up shoes, jackets, and backpacks out of my path all day.

I'd like for my visiting teachers to not bring store-bought cupcakes with kelly-green frosting with plastic trinkets on top. Instead I'd like them to bring a pint of ice cream just for me, preferably something chocolate.

I'd like for people to remember my birthday because they care, not see it on the church newsletter that day and wish me a happy birthday just because they realized it happened to be that day.

I'd like to not be guilted into any activity that someone thinks I should want to do on my birthday, just because that person wants to do that activity on his/her birthday.

It's my birthday, and I want it my way.

But unfortunately that's never the way it happens.


Lena said...

I know that feeling and you are entitled to it! I hoep you at least got to eat some chocolate.


QueenMeadow said...

I hear ya! Maybe on your 50th birthday you'll have a clean house ;).

Happy Birthday

Char @ Crap I've Made said...

30 is not old! Seriously....I'm loving being in my 30's.

Anonymous said...

I call it the birthday blues, and I suffer from the same let-down every year. It's not about aging for me, just a sense of disappointment in the day itself.

Glad to have found your blog!